Well Ive befriended a donkey in my home town,his name,,or her name,,is,,,urmm,dunno,,,but I call him/her baby and baby knows me and my car now,baby saw me pass in my car,,as I passed baby e or'd then I turned round and baby saw me get out and trotted and bucked and e or'd to greet me,,awww,,I get so chuffed and happy to see baby as chuffed as baby is to see me.Anyway apart from me and baby I have plans 
and its the start of my start of my dreams coming true 
Im going to ask for some training in my psychic skills and this person said when Im good enough he/she would take me to spiritulist church to stand in front of a small audience,,this cuts out all the open circles and closed circles so its like a short cut which is fantastic,,,if this person can help me and keep to his/hers word that they would train me.I even made a little story up when in bed about meeting him/her again and his/her main guide which I called Chief Chooa appeared in solid form in the kitchen and he passed me a letter in an envelope,,he also said to me that he influenced my helper to leave his recorder upstairs so I could see Chief Chooa,,well,,then my helper came down and I said,,Ive got a letter for you,,,oh btw Chooa said that he would reappear with a lion and not to be afraid,,so,,,my helper read this letter which was about me and him helping me and then he read a bit that said,,,as your reading this,,Nicola will be seeing me and my lion in the flesh,,,my helper turned around and saw nothing,then carried on reading,,it then said,,,you wont be able to see me because this is Nicolas dream,,but Nicolas dream is to pass on knowledge to you as much as you to her,,anyway then it said,,look at her face,,,I was sitting there with my hand on my chin,,elbow on the table with the most biggest grin,,because I was seeing this lion sitting like a guard dog beside Chief Chooa,,I wasnt afraid one bit...I can only dream and wish cant I
People might read some of my blog and it wont mean jack shit to them,,sometimes might just mean shit,,sometimes just Jack but then in days/weeks/months even years to come you might come back and click on a page and the whole friggen page might make you have a deja_vu or a coincidence and you might think,,,blimey governor this gurl knows some stuff lol I know Ive touched peoples hearts by them reading my website and to tell the truth my own heart is touched everytime I read a bit that Ive put on so many weeks/months/years before,I can not believe what my site has and is becoming and I wanna look into making it a book,,,as Ive said somewhere on my site I will always find something interesting and weird and whatever to put on here.1 person can read this site and tell God knows how many people,,people know people and thats where Im getting at with spreading my message,,story.In December I had 10 different people from different countries looking at it,,and in the last couple of weeks Ive had 4 people in the area of Manchester read it,,it takes alot of time to get heard,it takes years for a miracle to be born and hatched,it takes few 1000 people in the world that are scattered to spread some kind of word or knowledge about something thats going on and I think its paying off.People who deserve recognition have been recognized by the highest of all.
People have dreams and goals and aims and wishes and God this could go on,,but what I dream about isnt normal,,,I want the world on my shoulders,I want to visit as many countries and literally touch peoples skin and look them in the eye and give them a piece of my love.My love is the universe,,the universe speaks to my heart,,how can I not care about strangers and people in need.Its my nature.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=4G7Jo9Fh4ic
I watched Nates video and realized why I connect to so many people that are in the limelight,,its because they are my Soul Mates,,,and no,,for those who dont know,,,that dont mean my potential partner,,,Soul Mates are always coming in and out our lives,,alot of people settle down with their Soul Mates because theres so many out there,,,,come on,,,how long have we all lived?? You only have to connect to their eyes to know theres a connection,,,duh nick lol and this is why so many cant keep faithful,they will always go through their life meeting Soul Mates and still cheating because of the connection.What the world needs to know is 1 Soul is in 2 bodies and your other half is you and your your other half,you both lead similar lives in the respect of the things your mind goes through.I really really dont think anyone on this planet is with their twinflame because if they were the world would know about them,,urmm,,actually in that breath Ive changed my mind because not every twinflame can be the same or are the same,,course not,,,the minds think differently in each pair of flame.Hmmm this is interesting for me.
Oh and btw at the end of Nates video was the date of my precious Gavin who passed away and will never leave me xx
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Well Ive said all that and what Im about to say...urm...type I probs should have said at the beginning,but as Ive said 'japanese book'
My name is Nicola,,Nick or Nicky,,Nicola is only used normally when Im not paying attention to one of my family lol when I first meet people I say Im Nicky but close friends then call me Nick.I have 2 daughters,Victoria 16 and Bethanie 14.Im a cat lover and over the years had many cats.
Tiny---gave her up when I was poorly,,,thought I had 1 regret,but that was one,,,so thats 2 regrets. 6 or 7
Toby---cancer 
1yr old
Tilly---gave her up,something wrong with her,couldnt care for her.4?
Fizzy---total liver shutdown not nice 4 or 5 yrs old
Star---ate a poisioned rat,took him in as stray,with us few weeks,probs 2ish
Tabby--- didnt come home one day,6 years old
Sparky--- someone kicked him (6weeks old) killed her Grrr at that person
Freddie--- ran over,less than a year old
cats we have now
Charlie--been here 9 years (mine)
Venom--2 this Spring,,Vickys cat
Diaz--sister with ^^ Beths cat
Beth said the other day when these cats die,,not to have any more which I dont think I will,I wanna start travelling but then someone has came into my life and have to take him into thought.I think after over a decade of dreaming of being with someone I'll never ever meet,Ive actually found someone that can snap me out of that and bring real love into my heart.Ive always said if Im still single when Beth is 16 I would go America and travel around for at least 3 months,,this dream I wouldn't say is completly off my list 'to do'
Ok well,Ive been single,,hang on,,best do this another way,Ive had 3 relationships in the last 11 years and all didnt get passed 8 weeks,so me its been near enough me and the girls all their life.People say Im way to soft on them and need to put my foot down,,mostly its the people that like to 'control' others.I see how my girls have grown up and then look at other kids and you can always see their holding back,some look scared,some are very shy,some dont know how to laugh,and some darent open their mouth because of misunderstanding people.I see kids nowadays shut themselves off and for sure from parents,I cant pick fault really,,alot do bring their kids up the way they see right,,,but sometimes it aint right,,and kids then rebel or get a knife out,,,God,Im getting carried away here with this.
Im a damn proud mother to have raised my girls alone and to have so many say,,,God that must have been hard,,,urmm,,no not really,,,we 3 have the most excellent time at home,we laugh so much,,we are totally ourselves,,until we step into the world,or families houses,,we are not ourselves,,because everyone around would not approve.
Its not good when people arent allowed to be themselves,,it makes them ill.Kids can teach us a few things and thats where alot go wrong,they think,,kids dont know nothing,,how can they,,they are kids...tut tut.ffs I could shake these people.
Well I hope people are enjoying reading my blog,I said to my man friend that out of all the people that have read it Ive not had anyone comment and he said,,thats because I scare the shit out of them lol
whatever the reason,I'll keep writing,I dont write to get replies,as long as I see people reading I wont stop...Unless I turn the wrong corner one day and see a big red bus,,or nowadays sex and the city big bus lol God whos bloody writing this,,,I best go lol
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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6th jan 08
Well 2nights ago I laid in bed and alot of the times I just lay there and think/make stories up in my mind or occasionally talk to a voice,at night time we have what can only be described as a ping pong ball going UP the stairs,I know Ive heard this for a long time but whether thats months or years I dont know,,,,things can happen a few days ago and me say it was yesterday,or a year ago and it was 5 years ago,,but anyway this noise isnt really a noise anyone could put a word to,,so Ive called it the ping pong ghost,last week Bethanie was in the bathroom and shes never heard it before and I was saying to her about it and within seconds of saying that,,lol,,ping pong came,,,she darts out the bedroom comes close to me in my bed and wakes Victoria up,,,IVE JUST HEARD THE PING PONG! She was giggling but a little freaked espically because we were just talking about it.I have come to 4 conclusions of this ping pong.
1.One year when I was highly sensitive I was laying in bed and knew their was an old man walking up my stairs with a limp,he had a bad knee but he also had a large animal that ran up the stairs and it was like I was hearing it run a bit up the walls,I wasnt scared,and normally when I sense a stranger (spirit) in my house I ask my guides to see them on their way,or I step into the bathroom with the big mirror and stare at myself,thinking my reflection is the stranger or bad presense and then screw my face up and see them on their way,,I sorta challenge them,,saying you dare come back into my home,,I'll be seeing you with my guides in my dreams!
Anyway this ping pong could be associated with him.
2.I have lost 4 children Peter (miscarriage) he is now 21
Mia and Mya (epctopic) they are now 10
Justin was conceived 6 weeks after epctopic and also was going manic,,this was a very hard decision for me,as I was against termination but I couldnt possibly go ahead with it with what was going on,,Justin is 10.
So ping pong could be to do with them,,in a non frightening way introducing themselves to my daughters,,,,,Beth used to talk to and play with Peter when she was 3.
3.Ok this one is probably a bit way far fetched or to bizarre for some to comprehend but I thought the other night about parrell universes and thought,,maybe Im hearing myself walk up the stairs in another universe and all the unexplained noises I hear,,maybe that is the answer.
4.My house needs some anti-psychotics injected into the walls
Ok I wanna share some writings that I have done whilst in rehab,I write alot and some is funny/scary/inspirational/clever/sad.
I was on the last page of my A4 writing pad and this is what I wrote.
Last page now so I feel like making nonsense up just to fill it,,well I went down the pub on my own and I couldnt believe there was a limo outside with gold stars over it.I went a bit jellified in my legs because,,,last night I only thinking about that,,woahhhh,,what a coincidence.Anyway I walked passed it and noticed a window a little open and music on,it was FIVE playing ''If you wanna dance'' then I saw someones hand but carried on walking.Went to the steps of the pub.Melv and Scott were propping the bar up.Andy askind if I wanted a drink 'Pint of Kronenberg plz mate' Then Keith said to me ' I cant beleive what you did last night with the traffic lights,Ive never seen you do anything like that before' I said ' Thats Life' lol Anyway I thought it was to quiet so as I normally do in that case I put some songs on ACDC Whole Lotta Roses,,,DJ Sammy Heaven and Natasha Bedifield .I started headbanging to ACDC,Panner sat there tapping his foot.The I went out back for a ciggy and talked to Scott,I opologized for dragging him to my house that night didnt realize he was married.Anyway someone was raising there voice in the pub,I went inside and Shoona saying,,ROBBIE WILLIAMS is outside asking for me.I cant remember after that moment.
I fainted
Just wanna add this
If your got about 5 people around thats close to you having some kind of negative thought/feeling about you and that you surely that can effect that persons life.
And even though I was suppose to be so delusional and mentally unstable when I wrote that above story the middle bit was true.I have collected some of my diaries and writings from SEPT 07 being in ICU and taking them to see my lawyer,,no-one in my so called state of mind could have written the stuff I did,,times/dates/incidents and way things were set out in my diaries if they were not with it,,,wrongful sectioning!
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